Tiffany Marie Clark Her Families,  Life & Times

I was  born male at Anaheim, California (USA),  which is approximate two  miles from Disneyland Theme Park on September 3, 1959  as a Labor  Day holiday.  I was naming as Steven Craig Spencer. I was born  deaf  and having asthma since birth. The cause of deafness was  lack of oxygen in my  lungs that caused having asthma in first  place. I can read, write and speak well  as like everyone else.  I have two older hearing siblings as a sister who is 19  years  older than I am and a brother that is 17 years older than I am. My  brother  disliked me because of my deafness. My sister had been  drinking and some drugs  for while when I was young. However, when  I got older and my sisters mind was  messed up real good like memory  gaps such as when she was talking one subject.  However, when she  stopped talking and blank in her mind for five minutes and  then  she resumed her talking in something else and she does not remember  what  she talked about in five minutes ago (yikes). My brother  was brainwashed for  about 30 to 35 years by this church called  Scientology (I am not sure to spell  it right!) where the famous  actor/actress celebrities goes there.

By the age of eight, I was becoming first deaf  newspaper bike boy on the street, as many hearing people were  astonishing to see  me deliver those papers to them. In addition,  in the newspaper, reporter who  wrote a story about me first job  of newspaper boy took me picture. It was a  short of glory of  my being of a newspaper boy.  In addition, I sold Christmas  cards  at door to door. By the age of ten, I discovered a gas lawn mower  was  throwing away in the trash. I took it out of the trash. In  addition, I bring it  home. I took it apart, cleaned and assembled  back. I made from gas lawn mower  into gas go-cart car. It was  so much fun but I went out of control and crashed  into brick wall  and it was so much damage, as I was fascinated to have my own  first  homemade go-cart car. I was about 12 years old, I felt like I should  be  born a female instead of male. Nevertheless, I never knew what  the word of  feminine or masculine back then.

I never touch any drugs or cigarettes all my  life.  By the age of 16, I got my first drivers license and got my first  hot rod  car where I learned from my high school auto body shop.  However, my interests  were making troubles for others such as  racing through five red lights while  drinking boozes without any  accidents, racing Downhill Mountain with parking  lights on at  nights on 100 mph without thinking of suicides at High School Days.  From 1977 to 1985 when I got my first car, I had about 25 tickets  since I met my  fourth girlfriend in 1985. Many times in the past,  I have worn woman's clothes.  Moreover, was comfortable in them  without anyone knowing.
By  the time, I turned 18, my feelings gotten  stronger and stronger  up to present time. I hide secret with everyone about my  situation  including my co-workers. I went to deaf party where I met my  girlfriend  there back in 1985. I dated her for a month. Then we got married  on  March 20. I had vasectomy back in 1986 after my wife's second  son born. It was  so painful, even though today still painful when  bumped lightly. However, my  wife is becoming FTM now. In addition,  we are happily married for little over 23  years now.

I had "30" years to think about this  and it is  not go away. One time I paid electrolysis to remove  my beard but was barely  affordable that time (back in 1987 where  we lived in San Jose, California - USA) & it is painfully  around the upper lips due to electrical shock I guess, as  you  know shaving is not the answer. But can barely afford it at this  time with  partial laser hair removal on my front neck but not  enough due to lightness  color of my hair - maybe technology is  better today in removing hair  permanently.

I do not like hair all over myself and hate it  but never told anybody except my wife - soon to be FTM (female  to male). I  dreamed and dreamed, day after day after for 39 years  to have sex change  operation and live like a woman. Every time,  I take a shower and see my old self  - I hate seeing hair all over  my body and having a penis, it's bad enough that I  have to see  myself that way everyday! In addition, seeing "me" in front of  mirror  - I very much rather see myself having a pair of breast and a vagina.  Our  biggest fear that some people are rejecting us for our situations  now, but we  found many deaf lesbians and a few deaf transgender  friends online that already  accepted and supported us what we  are without rejections.

I  don't need a head doctor or psychiatrist or  psychologist for this  problem as I am fully aware of what's going on, but  willing to  go see one as require for evaluation for one year. In addition,  to  acquire a recommendation letter as needed for "SRS" surgery.  I have been to  Therapist for full one year from 2003 to 2004.  However, we both are having hard  time finding SRS doctor who can  performs SRS (bottom) that accept Medi-Cal for  eight years now.

It is one of reason why I am not  working and  been on permanently fixed disability income. It is  very hard not to think about  this while working - I need to be  "happy with myself" - if I am happy, I am able  to do anything!  I do not want to have children at all once I become a woman, as  I already know that once the MTF (male to female) could not get  pregnant after  surgery.

We  found some information on website thate we  have been searching  for about transsexual or transgender. As result, that we  found  a doctor that has been willing to help us in transition and we have  to  drive 3 to 4 hours to see Doctor Brown who works at San Francisco  health center  for LGBT people. We were very exciting that Medical/Medicare  pays the Hormone  replacement therapy to get them started for a  year and half now. However, we  also found another Doctor closer  by to our home, which are approximately 10  miles away that accept  us who we are and this Doctor is fascinating us as  married Transgendered  couple.

My Transgendered  husband (Mikel) has plucking  my facial hair to be removing for  about 6 to 8 months. But it discouraged me to  see them re-grow  back again until about six years ago, I purchased the Kalo the  inhibitor  the hair re-growth to slow down in several sessions until it's stopped  completely as it seems to be working, BUT I stopped using it as  it was not good  enough to stop completely yet in five years ago.  In addition, I have been to  electrolysis for a year  and half  to remove my facial hair and it is so painful  to get those done.  So far so good to make myself look more feminine that way. In  addition,  I have bought breast pump to make my breast grow bigger than before,  but it was broken. However, seven months ago, I bought non-slip  adhesive  NaturalBra the strapless bra that increases the cup size.  In addition, it looks  more realistic that way - HEE! I have less  hair on my body right now as I am so  thrilled to see some changes  after eight years of hormones.

On  June 9, 2008, Dr. L. Richard Morgan, M.D.  did implanting the gel  silicone in my breasts to make it look bigger and I do  not have  any complications with breast augment after the surgery done and  I am  happy with the results now.

Thank  you for your interest in reading about  my story &, my life!

Tiffany Marie Clark Updated - October 27,  2009

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Mikel Ross Clark His Families,  Life & Times

I  was born baby girl at Naval Base Hospital in  Groton, Connecticut  - USA on November 9 of 1964. I was naming as Julie Ann Holt.  I  was born deaf and still being deaf now. The deafness caused by rubella  (German  measles). I can read, write and speak well. I had a hearing  sister, mother and  real father. I went to Mystic Oral School (where  they were so strict about using  sign languages in school which  is no-no!) for the hearing impaired for three  years. Then moved  to southern California and stayed there for two years due to  relocated  from Groton Naval Base to San Diego Naval Base in California. Then  we  moved back to Connecticut in same Mystic Oral School for another  two  years.

I was fascinating  to watch my daddy shaved his  face when I was younger. When I was  about 6 to 8 years old, I once stood up and  pee in the toilet  but I was scared to catch myself for standing up pee in the  toilet  by my families. Moreover, was never doing it ever again. By the  time, my  mom and father were in processing in divorce in 1973  and it became final. My  real father and I cannot get along because  of my deafness and no communication  between him and me without  using sign languages. His heart was so cold feelings  toward all  three of us, did not want to part with us no longer after the bitter  divorce and we moved to Michigan (USA), and stayed there for 11  years. However,  in 1974 my mom remarried to the man who had six  children, as we knew them as our  second next-door neighbor from  our house in Connecticut back then. They became  our step family  (two step brothers and four step sisters). Sadly that we had  been  incest by this step family whom I had sex my step brothers and my  sister  had intercourse with my stepfather when my mom and I caught  them (my sister and  stepfather) in action that caused their marriage  in shambles. Then divorced with  this stepfather and we moved away.

My mom was worked hard from eight  - five all  week support on two of us to live by. I was acting  like a tomboy all my life, I  disliked of wearing dress or skirt  during school days and was forced to accept  that way I was born  female as I never knew I had masculine trapped into my body  when  I was young. By 1980, my mom remarried again. However, at that time  I had  two foster brothers whom I had sex with and had three step  sisters whom that I  never sexed with. I had pleasuring having  sex with different men or boys while I  am still in female body.  I used to smoke weeds and cigarettes on and off mostly  and also  had a party with them - meaning drinking beers & doing on drugs  when I was started at 12 years old. Two years before my graduation  day, I  allowed my stepfather touched my boobs and he forced to  put one of my hands into  his private area and had french kiss  with him as a so-so pleasure moaning  sounds. He was threaten me  not to tell my mom for two years and in near my  graduation day,  I told my mom about it and she was very upset and got divorced.  Then I got pregnant from my deaf ex-boyfriend whom was 15 years  older than I was  that I had sexed. I asked my deaf ex-boyfriend  which should I keep abortion or  give my baby up for adoption.  As he (my ex-boyfriend) said abortion, as I was  hurting so bad  and broke him up and then moved to San Diego, California (USA) in  1984 where my sister lived in Chula Vista, California which I  haven't seen her  for while long time.

I carried my baby for whole 9 months, my son,  Mikel  Ross Holt was born on December 23, 1984 at San Diego hospital in  San  Diego, California, and he weighed 7 pounds 2 ounces. Three  months later (which  was February 16, 1985); I went to Valentine's  Day party for the hearing impaired  and met new person that I fell  in love with. I told him that I had a son and he  was accepting  my son. However, at first, he asked me to choose either cigarettes  or him, so I choose him over cigarettes and never touched this  cigarettes or  drugs ever since which we got married later. Then  dated with him for a month and  then got married on March 20, 1985.  I got second pregnancy at the same time we  raised our son for  five and half months. The Social Security asked about my  husband's  salary as he was earning approximately $24,000 per year, which it  was  back in 1985. They (Social Security) cut off my SSI that forced  to give up my  first son to adoption parents who still lives in  San Diego, California (USA),  which we were not able to afford  to take care of my first son with $24,000 per  year after cut off  my SSI due to rent, utilities, phone, food, clothes, gas and  etc.  Meanwhile, when my second son Douglas Bard-Powell Wilmar (which  already  named him by his adoptive parents) born on March 16, 1986  and weighed 10 pounds  13 ounces. Also forced to give him up to  adoption parents too, which they are  white people who lived in  Hong Kong in Japan. But Douglas and his adoptive  parents moved  back in USA and live somewhere in either Los Angeles area or San  Francisco area California (USA) which we haven't been in touch  for while long  time.

I  was hospitalization for about a week due to  spinal tap from depression  that caused of forcing separation by my mom and when  my husband  came to the hospital. In addition, my mom disliked him and told  him  not to come in the room where I stayed in the hospital, but  I told my mom to let  him in and told my mom to leave. I was so  happy to see him to come by and  visited me at the hospital and  I got well as were in much in love that is so  strong that makes  me so well. My mom saw that and got very jealous that we had  very  good relationship between us. By the end of a week of staying in  the  hospital and I left the hospital and went home and packed  my stuff and moved out  of my mom's place where I stayed during  separation. I moved back into my  husband's place, as I was very  happy to have him in first place.

We  forced to move to other city, because of my  mom forced us to separate  in twice that caused our marriage in shambles. Then my  mom followed  and moved closer where we lived. We had to move again in far  northern  which was San Jose, California (USA) in 1987. We kept our dark secrets  for two years since we got married, as we were afraid that we  might leave each  other if we were telling the truth about our  transgender situation until we saw  the transsexual program or  something on TV in 1987. We were relieved about the  situation  that we have been. I understood that my husband was more comfortable  to wearing women's clothing and I told him that I was more comfortable  to  wearing men's clothing too. One time, we went to our friend's  house with our a  little bit of cross-dressing and my friend's  husband did not like that idea but  my friend accepted us what  we are. I worked during daytime and my husband worked  during nighttime  as we hardly see each other, so we had to force ourselves quit  the  jobs and moved more northern California which it called Anderson  which is  approximately 10 miles south of Redding, California (USA)  and lived there for a  year (1988). We had putting on and off the  transition for a while as we could  not research of finding about  the insurance pays for our medical needs such as  hormonal therapy,  sex reassignment surgery and etc. as we never knew back then  until  eight years ago, we discovered that Medical pays for our medications  for  our transitions going on!
We  both got so bored at Anderson, California  and moved back to San  Gabriel Valley area (near Los Angeles area in California)  for  about 4 years (from 1989 to 1993). Then moved to Yuba City, California  (approximately 40 to 60 miles north of Sacramento, California)  for six months  and then found a cheap house in Live Oak (which  is 10 miles north of Yuba City)  for 11 years. We both already  should our first home in Live Oak, CA and soon  will move to Eureka,  CA where the weather is PERFECT climates for us to live  there.  But we ended up moving to Chico, CA and stuck there for 5 years  now. Back  in nine years ago (2001), we researched (Lesbian, Gay,  Bi-sexual & Transgendered) doctor in San Francisco, California.  We had been asking some  questions about medical pays for the hormonal  therapy and etc The Doctor said  yet that Medical pays for that.  Therefore, we were exciting to get it started in  transition with  our Medical/Medicare. I have been cross-dressing for three  years.  I still go to Men's restrooms without any problems because I have  a  binder to cover my large boobs. I have facial hair growth such  as medium  mustache, goatee & sideburns and quite a lot of  hair on my arms, legs,  buttocks, back and chest, too. We decided  to have new names for my husband which  to be calling Tiffany Marie  Clark, which is my MTF (Male to Female) now, and  myself to be  calling Mikel Ross Clark as FTM (Female to Male). We have been  talking  to our many deaf Lesbian friends online for 11 years now and they  accept  our situation as sex swapping each other as they were curious  to ask some  questions about our transition, surgery and etc. We  are still having them as our  friends. But in Yuba City where our  so-so deaf friends and our hearing neighbors  does not know our  transition going on except of one of our good deaf straight  friend  whom have three children (two twin daughters and a son) who already  accept us. My mom-in-law and my sister-in-law does not know about  this either as  we have been helping them out by doing the chores  for them. However, my  mom-in-law was passing away in April 2003  and my sister-in-law already accepted  us after her (my sister-in-law's)  mom passed away.

We were  be told that we must go psychologist  for undergo evaluation for  one year by the Harry S. Benjamin International  Gender Dysphoria  Association rules or laws as to acquire a recommendation letter  as needed for "SRS" surgery. We both did go and see Therapist  for one year from  2003 to 2004 and having hard time finding SRS  doctors who accept Medi-Cal in  California. I have hair growth  on my facial, arm, chest, belly, buttock and  legs. On May 9th,  2008, my doctor found out that I lost of weight and said that  I  have diabetic which is Type 2. In 2008, we found one doctor who  accepts  Medi-Cal/Medi-Care for our top surgeries that has done.  The doctor's name is L.  Richard Morgan, M.D. of Chico, CA and  on May 15th at 1:00 PM, Dr. Morgan did  removing my large breasts  to make it look like male chest. I stayed at Oroville  Hospital  for overnight. On May 16th, early morning around 1:16 am, I did  passed  out from lost quite a bit of blood from my left chest from  the surgery.

And then  few months later, I got so pain on my  right side of my body (my  neck, my arm, pelvic and my leg). And my doctor sent  me to MRI  on my neck area to find out what's wrong with me. The results were  that I have bone metastatic but it was not good enough on my neck  area, so she  sent me to bone x-ray scanned and CT scan on my whole  body to finding out how  bad I was in...So, it confirmed that I  have bone cancer on stage 4. On November,  I went radiation treatments  for 8 days. After 5th treatments, I got mouth  infection and some  hair loss on back of my head and my chin and neck. At the  point  that I lost my taste for a while until about two weeks ago, my taste  buds  are some came back. At the meantime, I lost lot of weight  too... Starting on  November and on, I am still taking Zometa infusion  treatments each monthly to  prevent from spreading more on my bones.

I am still not happy the results after 17 months of top surgery done by Dr. Morgan.  I want revision on my chest to make it look normal like other men's chest when taking shirt off in public that what i wanted so badly.  And also i want to have phalloplasty so that way i can stand and pee without worry about getting caught me having a vagina in men's bathroom.

Thank you for your interest in reading  about  my story and my life too!

Mr. Mikel Ross Clark - Updated: October 27, 2009

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OUR GOAL

We are having hard time finding a doctor who is willing accept Medi-Cal/Medi-Care for both of us.  So however, we are hoping or asking for donations from our website will help to pay for our bottom surgeries.  Any donations will be most appreciated.  After our surgeries done and we will donate the left over monies to Cancer Research Center, Transgender Community Centers, LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bi-sexual and Transgender) Centers and Salvation Army Centers.